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Tuesday, May 20, 2014

CIAO ITALIAN BISTRO/GLUTEN RAGE

Ok you have to read til the end of this post, because a dynamite crazy story will be your reward, but first let me set the stage. Last night, Danielle and I were invited to a Jax Bite Club event courtesy of Folio Weekly and, more importantly, my friend Caron. The restaurant is in the historical district of Fernindina and the entire area is super adorable.

We had margherita pizza with whisper thin crust, dangerously light and delicious, followed by my favorite course: a watermelon napolean. Thick slices of watermelon sandwiched creamy goat cheese and arugula, with a balsamic reduction and mint leaves. This was so incredibly refreshing and I am obsessed.


This was followed by fried mozzarella with basil aioli - rich  and delicious - and seafood lasagna that was literally an overflowing treasure chest of  perfect buttery little scallops. OMG. And there was tiramisu. Gosh I hope I do not get sent to outer darkness for eating that tiramisu.

ANYWAY the meal was delicious and I would totally go back. But onward christian soldiers to the money: Whilst our heros sat, listening to the Italian owner go over the evenings menu in a thick accent, a strange burnt matchstick of a woman walked up to our group. This walking wire marched right up to the owner, and sticking her pointy finger out screams I WANNA TALK TO YOU. This lady then begins to throw a howler of epic proportions. SHE HAD EATEN GLUTEN FREE PASTA AT THIS ESTABLISHMENT she said AND IT WASNT GLUTEN FREE. The woman wailed and screamed with a rage that was REAL my friends, unhinged we heard about her night sweats and sleeplessness for a week. As they drug her out of the joint, the obscenities flowed as her shorts began to slip off her bony frame. You'd think a gut so descended with the suffering of gluten would have kept those suckers on, but I witnessed full butt crack. I can't even tell you how insane this lady was. Geeze. So maybe avoid the gluten free pasta at Ciao? Or don't. Idk, this woman sounded more like a wino then a true gluten warrior, so take your fate into your own hands. Truly a story worthy of Florida (Wo)Man.

Ciao Bistro on Urbanspoon

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